Got space?
Here's why looking for restaurant space is like riding a roller coaster or dating....
There are such big highs and lows and most of the time you are in high gear waiting for the next up or down. A broker calls about a potential location that would be ideal - I guess they would never use a word that is less than ideal, right? You put all things aside and work your schedule around an appointment. You're in anticipation and climbing that ride up. You see the site and it's great. The match with the owner is a great fit, couldn't be better, and everything is perfect except... a fatal flaw. I feel like I'm speaking about dating but it sort of feels like that at times.
This time the fatal flaw... well, the current tenants don't know that their time may be up soon, we don't know when they are leaving, we don't know what will happen, we don't know (fill in blank). It's like finding a date but that date is not "available" for this or that reason and you're hoping but wary at the same time and know that you should continue looking just in case. So, you return home with mixed feelings. But then again someone tells you about another place and you're off again, up that hill quickly. But, you're still kind of hoping for the first place but know you probably shouldn't be.
It's been so great, all the support, enthusiasm and tips since letting people know that we are looking for space, after the Chelsea Club closed down quite suddenly, leaving us restaurant-less. And, it gave us that big kick we've been talking about for awhile - to find a more permanent home for ZenKitchen in the community. And, as we we did at the very beginning when we had our first dinner - we let people know about the concept/idea of a gourmet dinner and to let us know if they were interested. Well, the success and energy of this first dinner, led to dinner after dinner selling out, and we never looked back until now.
Speaking about the roller coaster also reminds me about dealing with bankers... you have conservations with bankers that make you feel like about 5 years old and like you are talking to a critical parent...
"Do you have any restaurant experience? "(slight negative tone at this point). Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know about the high failure rate of restaurants, right?" (more negative tone coming in) Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know that's it a lot of hard work and very long days?" (more critical parental tone coming in) Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know that we're especially strict on restaurants, right? (bingo, the critical, negative parent has arrived)" Yeah, blah, blah.
" Well, I have a relative that is a chef and you know they say (negative stories appear that you really don't want to hear about..)" Yeah, but blah, blah.
And then for some reason you go into a song and dance about how much passion and heart you have for this new career and you did the high paying office work type of gig but now you're finally doing what you love and you thought you'd better do it now then wait. They say it's "admirable" and they got to respect that, probably lines they got from their customer feedback training or something, but you can feel that behind all this all they are thinking about is cash, money, and what's in it for them.
And, wait a minute, then you realize that you are talking to a commercial banker about heart and passion, how ironic is that? And, then for a moment you get that bad sinking gut feeling like when you used to try to talk to your mom or dad, and you feel like perhaps you are a bad person and wrong for following this path of heart and love. Perhaps you should follow the path to money and more money, and what's next, but of course more money to buy more things that require more money. See, it's like that feeling you get just before the roller coaster goes over the edge, the exciting underlying feeling but sinking as well.
As someone once told me and has stuck. Excitement and fear have the same physical emotions that come a long with it and it's what we label it that makes all the difference. If we come from a child hood or background where there was a lot of criticism and negativity (my hand is up and I'm sure there are a few others around), then you will automatically label a feeling, even it's a good feeling of excitement, with fear, negativity and anxiety, as that's what you are used to.
For example, I used to always get so excited about travel, but just before I go, I'm always filled with doubt about the trip especially if I'm going alone - will I be able to meet anyone, perhaps I should have gone with someone else, will I have lonely times, I have so much to do at home and there is so much time to do to pack so why am I doing this again? But, then, I am sitting on the plane and all this is erased as I watch the plane get ready to take off and there is nothing I can do but enjoy the ride. And then, I label this same emotion that has been bugging me for awhile with excitement, joy, adventure. Ever since someone pointed this out about the same emotion being labelled in different ways, it's been such a relief and option at times like this when there are so many emotions coming at you and through you moment by moment. Whew! Breathe Caroline breathe!
Speaking of breathing, yoga and meditation has been one of my saving graces I must say. Before yoga, I used to have such shallow breathing and anxiety, which someone pointed out one day probably comes from a dificult childhood with lots of anxiety, and we carry on to our adult lives in many ways. So, learning to breathe deeply, relaxing and lie in "shivasana" or body corpse, which apparently is most of the difficult poses in yoga for people to just totally relax and let go completely, was some of those most wonderful things that I brought into my life. Yeah! And, this was probably the start of really doing good things for myself, and feeling amazed of how good it felt, and wanting to do truly good things for others to let them experience the same feelings. All free, costing nothing but absolutely priceless. I guess you can call it banking on the heart and soul. If there was such bank, what would it be called? Bank of spirit, bank of love and kindness, bank of integrity and intuition ....
There are such big highs and lows and most of the time you are in high gear waiting for the next up or down. A broker calls about a potential location that would be ideal - I guess they would never use a word that is less than ideal, right? You put all things aside and work your schedule around an appointment. You're in anticipation and climbing that ride up. You see the site and it's great. The match with the owner is a great fit, couldn't be better, and everything is perfect except... a fatal flaw. I feel like I'm speaking about dating but it sort of feels like that at times.
This time the fatal flaw... well, the current tenants don't know that their time may be up soon, we don't know when they are leaving, we don't know what will happen, we don't know (fill in blank). It's like finding a date but that date is not "available" for this or that reason and you're hoping but wary at the same time and know that you should continue looking just in case. So, you return home with mixed feelings. But then again someone tells you about another place and you're off again, up that hill quickly. But, you're still kind of hoping for the first place but know you probably shouldn't be.
It's been so great, all the support, enthusiasm and tips since letting people know that we are looking for space, after the Chelsea Club closed down quite suddenly, leaving us restaurant-less. And, it gave us that big kick we've been talking about for awhile - to find a more permanent home for ZenKitchen in the community. And, as we we did at the very beginning when we had our first dinner - we let people know about the concept/idea of a gourmet dinner and to let us know if they were interested. Well, the success and energy of this first dinner, led to dinner after dinner selling out, and we never looked back until now.
Speaking about the roller coaster also reminds me about dealing with bankers... you have conservations with bankers that make you feel like about 5 years old and like you are talking to a critical parent...
"Do you have any restaurant experience? "(slight negative tone at this point). Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know about the high failure rate of restaurants, right?" (more negative tone coming in) Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know that's it a lot of hard work and very long days?" (more critical parental tone coming in) Yeah, blah, blah.
"You know that we're especially strict on restaurants, right? (bingo, the critical, negative parent has arrived)" Yeah, blah, blah.
" Well, I have a relative that is a chef and you know they say (negative stories appear that you really don't want to hear about..)" Yeah, but blah, blah.
And then for some reason you go into a song and dance about how much passion and heart you have for this new career and you did the high paying office work type of gig but now you're finally doing what you love and you thought you'd better do it now then wait. They say it's "admirable" and they got to respect that, probably lines they got from their customer feedback training or something, but you can feel that behind all this all they are thinking about is cash, money, and what's in it for them.
And, wait a minute, then you realize that you are talking to a commercial banker about heart and passion, how ironic is that? And, then for a moment you get that bad sinking gut feeling like when you used to try to talk to your mom or dad, and you feel like perhaps you are a bad person and wrong for following this path of heart and love. Perhaps you should follow the path to money and more money, and what's next, but of course more money to buy more things that require more money. See, it's like that feeling you get just before the roller coaster goes over the edge, the exciting underlying feeling but sinking as well.
As someone once told me and has stuck. Excitement and fear have the same physical emotions that come a long with it and it's what we label it that makes all the difference. If we come from a child hood or background where there was a lot of criticism and negativity (my hand is up and I'm sure there are a few others around), then you will automatically label a feeling, even it's a good feeling of excitement, with fear, negativity and anxiety, as that's what you are used to.
For example, I used to always get so excited about travel, but just before I go, I'm always filled with doubt about the trip especially if I'm going alone - will I be able to meet anyone, perhaps I should have gone with someone else, will I have lonely times, I have so much to do at home and there is so much time to do to pack so why am I doing this again? But, then, I am sitting on the plane and all this is erased as I watch the plane get ready to take off and there is nothing I can do but enjoy the ride. And then, I label this same emotion that has been bugging me for awhile with excitement, joy, adventure. Ever since someone pointed this out about the same emotion being labelled in different ways, it's been such a relief and option at times like this when there are so many emotions coming at you and through you moment by moment. Whew! Breathe Caroline breathe!
Speaking of breathing, yoga and meditation has been one of my saving graces I must say. Before yoga, I used to have such shallow breathing and anxiety, which someone pointed out one day probably comes from a dificult childhood with lots of anxiety, and we carry on to our adult lives in many ways. So, learning to breathe deeply, relaxing and lie in "shivasana" or body corpse, which apparently is most of the difficult poses in yoga for people to just totally relax and let go completely, was some of those most wonderful things that I brought into my life. Yeah! And, this was probably the start of really doing good things for myself, and feeling amazed of how good it felt, and wanting to do truly good things for others to let them experience the same feelings. All free, costing nothing but absolutely priceless. I guess you can call it banking on the heart and soul. If there was such bank, what would it be called? Bank of spirit, bank of love and kindness, bank of integrity and intuition ....
posted by Caroline at 1:00 PM
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